Kissell v Hayes: The Real Deal v A Raw Deal (Reprint)

This post was originally posted by RANT earlier this week. The snark is wonderful and deserves a bit more attention during the Saturday morning funnies. Thanks, RANT!

The Real Deal versus The Raw Deal

A reporter friend of mine just related the most interesting story about a Fourth of July parade she attended in her neighboring Montgomery County today.

TroyFest is apparently a big one -- a full blown, all-day street festival that begins with a parade showcasing Americana at it's finest... fire trucks, clowns, old timey cars and, of course, political candidates like Larry Kissell and Robin Hayes.

But Troy you see is in the 8th District. And that means two things these days - The town has lost jobs, lots of them, due directly to Hayes' bad trade policies he promised to vote against before he voted for them, and he still has to drag his fat ass over there anyway for the parade and pretend like he didn't just piss on the locals' leg and tell them it's raining.

So my reporter friend had much to say about how the day played out, the most interesting of which is Hayes is in serious trouble.

My thanks to her and a Kissell campaign birdy for the photo forwards.

Though everyone was supposed to check in and line up an hour before the parade start, Hayes I'm told showed up super late for his multi-millionaire Republican flyover of the textile devastated area. He pulled up in a big black souless truck at the last minute, demanded to be moved to the front of the parade so he could hurry and get out of there afterwards, then proceeded with his obligatory candy throwing from a perch a good safe distance from the unwashed masses he's routinely betrayed.

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And they predominantly ignored him.

Seriously, would you take candy from this man?
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Or a Hayes sign from his goon?
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She said part of Hayes' problem today seemed to be a complete lack of preparedness. After all, how can you throw candy to children holding big yellow KISSELL balloons? Hundreds of them. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them from what I'm told.

See, Kissell people were everywhere, hours before Hayes even had his first donut this morning. Then because people actually know and like Kissell, more people were spontaneously volunteering to blow up balloons and get them out... SPECIFICALLY FOR HAYES TO SEE.

They knew he was coming. They've tolerated his election year appearances and posing with oversized checks for 8 years now. So the sense of giddiness that swept the crowd anticipating Hayes daring to show his face this time, after CAFTA, was electric. I'm told not a single Hayes sign was taken. By anyone. For the entire parade route of miles. And more than a few jeered, hissed, boo'ed and chanted Kiss-ell, Kiss-ell, Kiss-ell at the overstuffed dinosaur atop his diesel throne. Can you imagine?

Enter Team Kissell:
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Do these cats know how to win a ground war or what?

Kissell stops to talk to people cheering "Hey, Larry!" along the route, because he knows them.
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Kissell worked in the mill with their parents. He taught their children. He's their Deacon. He serves in the Lion's Club with them, on the hospital board - he's part of their family, and a real authentic member of the 8th District community.

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And he walks, shakes hands, waves, shares jokes, and understands what every single one of them are going through.

My friends final assessment. Hayes simply can't win. Not doing his typical flyovers. Not riding in trucks looking down on people. Not showing up with those tired big checks. And certainly not trying to smear a God fearing, honest man like Larry Kissell. People know better. Hayes has lost the heart and soul of the 8th District.

He's just another fat, old millionaire Washington politician playing dress-up in his 82 Airborne cap that's lost all touch with the people. And the people know it.

It's past time for someone working...for a change.

Happy Fourth of July Everybody!
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This deserved repeating

I didn't want to move the original post from its date/time stamp, though.

Excellent snark in this piece.

Vote Democratic! The ass you save may be your own.

Love it!

Great post....even the second time around.


Hayes just can't pass up a parade for some reason.

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Luckily, Karl Rove is always good for an alibi when you're 100 miles away feasting on a village's pets and small children.

You are toooo funny


Vote Democratic! The ass you save may be your own.