Tuesday Twitter roundup

Cue bigoted Republicans bashing the NCAA in 3...2...1...

There is no "public good" achieved by keeping these big-money donors secret. It makes no sense to require a $5,000 donor's name be made public, but then allowing a $50,000 donor to remain in the dark.

One-Term Pat doesn't know the difference between "a better place" and a parking space. Dude literally let oil companies move into his office to push their offshore drilling nonsense, dog only knows what mischief he'd get up to in the U.S. Senate.

That affidavit thing is, in itself, an unreasonable impediment to voting. But of course Republicans know that.

That is simply inexcusable, and an undeniable example of systemic racism.

In case you're wondering, that Dem he mentioned is (of course) Joel Ford, who was just given a seat on the UNC Board of Governors in appreciation for his steadfast support for the other party. Ehhhh...

Right, because we want our health experts to baby us, or just out-and-out lie like Donald Trump did. One day, it will just magically disappear! Idiot.

So...what are you saying, exactly? His Dem Primary opponents are going to "rip him apart" by being too extreme for the electorate? Put down the crack pipe, dude. Also, that "empty suit" is actually a camouflage uniform with Captain's bars. Jackass.

Good for you. But I'd really rather have seen the grand opening of the Durham-Orange Light Rail project, which you helped to scuttle.

Keep blowing that Trumpet, Markie Mark. When his daughter-in-law decides to run, Trump will grind you under his golf shoes.

Sometimes Libertarians get it right. This is not one of those times. If a registered owner of an automobile is allowing somebody else to drive it (family member, friend), and that person is speeding through a school zone, that owner should be fined. Before some child gets run over. Pick another battle, Corey.

And the Irony Stick swings hard for Pete's mostly empty noggin. Dude, Republicans are literally trying to "cancel" transgender youth with these bills. You need to read these Tweets outloud, to yourself, at least five times before publishing them. Probably won't help, but it's worth a shot.

On that face-palming note, here's your Onion:

The party's over, little dudes.

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